My Eternal
by XxTorrfie-Sensei
Summary: "I hate myself for being pathetic. I know that this might seems running away from all but I just can't find myself from turning back." What do I really want for myself? That was the really question that I can't answer all this time but as I speak to this small guy unconsciously, I can't help but know the answer to what I really want for myself. "I want to free myself." HibarixOC


**A/N:** It's a quick re-write because of the grammar but still the same don't worry. This story is a Hibari x OC, a slight Hibari x Nagi/Chrome.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except for the plot and my own OC's.

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 ***8*8*8* MY ETERNAL (PROLOGUE) *8*8*8***

I have always look at you but never even once saw me. Whenever I glance your direction, I'll only come to face your broad straight back. Watching as your life move while mine stop.

It made me wonder why, all this time, you've never look at me as more than just a friend.

It hurt me more than what I have ever imagine it would be and what's worse is that it never faded...

I call but never once have you turn. Always, your eyes landing on a particular person but never have you once answer my calls.

I'm tired and exhausted already to the point I'm numb. I had enough. I felt pathetic and I don't want to feel like this ever again...

Why can't you see me? Why can't you notice I'm hurting?

I felt numb! I'm hurting and now I can't feel anymore... and you know what?

I felt thankful that I felt disgusted in being thankful... I don't want this anymore. I don't ever want to.

But still... I hang on that small string with all my hope till one day I gave up. I let go.

Weeks after weeks and months of not even once talking to you and for you to notice me and now seeing you with her in our promise spot, kissing and in one another's embrace.

I gave up. I let it slip, deciding I had enough of this and I don't anymore of it. That's why I completely let it go. Let it slip completely from my hand.

From then on, I only see you as a person who can be a deadly poison to me, who have forgotten me, change me completely into someone I have feared in becoming. A person whom completely broken me for who I am. The very person I have fallen into and at the same time despise the most.

The very person whom I won't let myself lose again.

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 ***8*8*8* My Eternal *8*8*8***

I breathe before letting it out, stabling myself before a presence beside me let itself know, making a small tug on my lips present itself before it vanishes.

Just replaying this scene on my head, myself on the airport just after what reality gave me and deciding that leaving and going Italy just so I could make something out of myself? Never in my life this event would really happen to me. Not even a thought of it.

"Ciao, Kou or was it Kaori now?" Reborn tip his black, orange strip fedora. A playful tone on his voice just to lighten my stiff posture.

I glance at the board, checking for my flight to appear before glancing down at the small man.

This one was also the one thing that I never thought I would do in my entire life. Getting this guy's help just to settle some things in my life that I could never have done all by myself. I, forever, am grateful for him especially when I'm still in this state of myself where I'm completely useless and weak.

"It's on you Reborn. It doesn't really matter at the moment since I still need to know who I am."

A complete truth. It really the only thing that I can only answer with. After what I have witness from my long time friend, I've been a complete mess. And with the fact that my parents have never been my real parents all along just added how my life had suck and completely turned in just a matter of time.

And right now, just seeing how I am just show how hard I'm taking this changes are.

"Not that I'm stopping you, Kaori but I'm asking if this really what you wanted?" Reborn asked, his hands stuffing on his pocket and unlike a minute ago, his childish attitude were completely gone.

At times, I really had a hard time grasping the fact about the truth about him. After what I learn from him from what he really is. A man turned into a baby ages ago. That's a really concept that I'm still trying to get inside my head.

And just thinking this concept made me even nervous on what I might learn once I've arrive in Italy. I should probably get myself a coffee to keep me from fainting once I start learning what crazy things that my life would now have.

"Shouldn't I be?" I retort back with a question a playful tone dancing on my new husky voice, that I recently have. Again a change I have to get used to.

"You know that going to Italy means you can't come and stay here to live permanently ever again in Japan no matter how you want to, especially in your case. If you want to back down, now is your chance Kaori, or else" Reborn reminded me. I don't really know why he even asked so many times about this?

Probably for Tsuna and others sake since I have been quite close to them but if I stay, I know that nothing will happen for me.

I had plenty of time to really back down from this idea but somehow no matter how I want to stay, I can't find myself giving up this opportunity.

I lick my dry lips, nervous.

"It's the only thing that I could do at the moment. I had been helpless as others fought, can't do anything to depend myself, weighing others down as they worried for us. It now or never really...I hate myself for being pathetic. I know that this might seems running away from all but I just can't find myself from turning back." I paused, inhaling for a breathe.

"I know that Hibari won't look at me no matter what and I'm done with that."

I scoff mentally. _Am I really?_

"The others have their own path and right now, it's the only path that is left for me to do. I don't want to be a pathetic existence to others and seeing my circumstances, why not use it to change myself for the better and you won't know, it would do good for me."

 _Does it?_

Many questions have been on my mind over the time I'm still here like would this really do good for me? Is this right or wrong? Should I just move on here? or do I want change and know who I really am?

And those were just a few of them... but the question that really been bothering me all this me was

 _What do I really want for myself_?

That was the really question that I can't answer all this time but as I speak to this small guy unconsciously, I can't help but know the answer to what I really want for myself and because of it, I help give a smile, staring right into the eyes of the greatest hitman in the world, Reborn.

"I want to free myself."

And with just one last sentence, it's enough answer for Reborn to agree and satisfied as he nodded, giving me his signature childish smirk.

I bowed at him, thanking for everything before turning before deciding it's time when I saw my flight.

"You know," He paused. I turn to him as he smile in humor.

"He won't stay and not let a hell out of this, especially the others." He raised a brow and for some reason I can't help but laugh. A real laugh for the first time and I found myself weightless even if it's just for a moment.

I gave a wave back without looking at him while walking toward my gate for my flight and can't help but think that those gate I'm going to pass through was the symbol of my start and I found myself thinking how ironic it was.

"Then please do me a favor to calm them down and tell them that I have left because I have chosen what I want my life from now on. Though I assure you Hibari won't cause hell, knowing that he doesn't even remember me."

I can hear a smugness in his voice, happy and seems more fully satisfied than he previously was.

"Will do."

I smile again before completely disappearing in his sight. Guess I have to start having my coffee for this new journey.

Letting the smirk off on the fedora man from his mouth, he can't help but ridicule someone on his mind.

"That Hibari can be stupid like my student. He just have let what he wanted the most slip, right out his hand that easily. What an idiot."

He scoffed before deciding he needed to get back for his student and to let them know what just happened since he knows that once they notice the girl's absence on their presence, chaotic event would let loose and delaying the news would even make more chaos that he'll likely want to avoid, though he contemplated telling Hibari.

He shrug. He'll just let that dumb skylark know it for himself and stop him if he ever try to go after her. After all, he can't let someone interrupt the growth of the heir of the most important family to them or else they'll be done for, for sure.

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 **Sorry but I just change my main OC name because I somehow find myself shuddering at the name I had previously given. So in short, I change some of the plot as well as the name of my main Charater.**

 **Sorry for the confusion that I have cause.**


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